Employment!

Well hey there, avid readers. As you remain hooked on every word in this post (obviously), you will discover the tale of my first day of Term 4, Year 9. I arrived at school, everything well and good, average day. So anyway, getting on with it, on to recess, which was pro. Ness and Jen gave me lollies, which I shared at the lysdexic card's request, and there was much rejoicing. HAD HIGGS FOR SCIENCE! How pro. He didn't know me, even though he said he did. :P Higgsy! Then on to that next class...what was it?... ENGLISH! AHA! Anyway, found out we're doing crime fiction this term. How pro. So yeah, then to lunch, which involved running away, comingh back to find everyone else has run away, everyone else coming back and some more pro-ness. After that we all went and hung out in IPT, then to German, where we watched the BHK (Berlin Heroes Krew) skate/scooter/run around the streets of Berlin in a random fashion (see: Emil and the Detective).

Then, I went out to Macca's to get ready to be interviewed. Bought a medium Coke, then the dude who was gunna tell me when to go in for my interview, gave me a free large Coke as well as the medium I bought. Got interviewed, all was pro.

And now, I've checked my emails, and BAM! BOOM! SHAKALAKA! BOOM! BOOM! SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE THA ROOM! I haz a job.


THanks for sitting through my nonsensical drivel,

~~Sledgehammer~~

Mysteries (Solved!)

For a week now, I have been puzzling. Puzzling over a song. A song I learned on guitar. But my guitar teacher failed to tell me the name of it. I tried searching the chords on the internet. No joy. Also, I tried asking other guitarists, which gained nothing, except a failed lesson in chord construction. So I decided there was nothing for it. I had to ask my guitar teacher the next time I saw him. So I sucked it up, toughed it out, waited right through Friday till Wednesday. And finally, my mystery was solved.

The song is "Is there Anybody Out There (Instrumental)" by Pink Floyd.

While I was at this guitar lesson, which happened earlier this afternoon, I was also informed that, after only two short, half-hour sessions, my guitar tutoring was to come to a close. My guitar teacher, unfortunately, had his work hours upped, and so cannot make the time any longer to give guitar lessons. In his words "It really just sucks!"

And so, I move on into a stage of enlightenment, and also self-teaching of guitar, as I learn the final song given me by him. So, to the strains of Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals' "Another Lonely Day", let us think back on the happenings of the past week and smile.

(To steal from BigJimmy) Peace, Love and Biscuits.

~~Sledgehammer~~

Babies Galore

Mr. Grogan: Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls.
Chris: People of all ages.
Dwyer: No...

Ms. Scollay: This sheet will take two shakes to finish.
Chris: I deserve to be shot for what I just thought...
Jack, David & Emma D: Why?
Chris: Two shakes = A Shakes-pair! (Shakespeare)
Jack, David & Emma: *murderous stares*


Chris: *pokes forehead*
Flick: *throws shoe*
Chris: Hey! No fair!

Chris: Whenever you laugh at a joke that bad, you kill kittens!
Jenny: It's for the best...There are so many kittens in the world, they are being put down at the RSPCA.

USW. (und so weiter.)

GuK (Gruß und Kuß)

~~Sledgehammer~~

P.S. The brackets are German phrases. Figure it out.

P.P.S For obvious reasons, only one of the two things in the second bracket apply. Depends on if you're lucky enough :P

Gimmick Infringement (aka Quote Theif)

"It does look like cock." - Jenny

"It's a bi-metal strip. Like bisexual, only bi-metal." - Jenny

"I would like you to note that I walked all the way over, all the way back and sat down...all without hurting myself." - Jenny

"NOM NOM NOM!" - Sledgehammer (Chris), on various occasions. (With an alligator clip.)

"A-herti-gerti-herti-gerti." - Bianca

"Oh you're always going on with 'are you a homophobe, miss?' or 'are you carrying a gun, miss?' and blah blah blah!!" Frau Raby, directed at Geordie.

Ahh...good times in the life of the Sledgehammer.

Yours, as always,

~~Sledgehammer~~

The Sledgehammer Gets Bigger

Hello, dear readers.
I break from my usual style of posting useless links, and trivial lyrics, or anecdotal jokes, to announce that the Sledgehammer has, indeed, opened a forum. Be sure to head on over and check it out, and use it for what forums are for...discussion. you can find it at: http://cla93.proboards105.com

Leaving you to think about why I've been so formal about announcing this,
Sledgehammer (Chris)

Mein Physik ist gut. (My physics are good)

I made awesome cars, tanks, towers that roll!

Check:
Caterpillar
Tower of Terror
Drawbridge
Bulldozer Time!
Dozer Tank
Tower of Power
Jousting

Yay!

The Weather Channel

Two updates in one night. Feel special.
I couldn't really put this as it didn't fit in with the other post, but my brother Alex informed me of this funny bugger-up on the Weather Channel (exclusive to Foxtellians.)

Josh Holt, a reporter, was reporting on the current dam levels. He reached Sydney, and said, and I quote, "Sydney's dam level is sitting on 59...thing..." He then took a thoughtful expression on his face, and walked off-set, scratching his cheek. A minute later he walked back on-screen, cleaning his ear, and re-started the programme.

COVERT OPERATIONS!

Covert Operations are a lot of fun.
I would elaborate, but I am not currently in a position to do so at this moment in time. I have to go now, and remember...YOU DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING!
Anyway, coming back from the brink of the Abyss, I have had a very interesting time over th past...however long since last time I posted. I have had things done to me which no-one must ever mention again. I was forced to dance, I talked to Jake about the Abyss (School Library.), I sung karaoke, I sung a madonna song on karaoke, I witnessed Jenny obtain a gunshot type step wound to the shin, I participated in a cornucopia of love, I imagined a Dalek turning into a hamster, and also concluded that hamsters are evil.
HAMSTERS ARE EVIL!
This is proven below.
Russians (Soviet or otherwise, whichever you don't prefer) are evil.
Russians are termed "Pigdogs."
Pigdogs are, according to Jake, otherwise known as hamsters.
Thus, hamsters are Russians, and so evil.
Since hamsters are pure evil, and so are Daleks, hamsters can be concluded as being the next form of evolution for a Dalek.
Imagine, if you will, Daleks converting en masse into hamsters spontaneously. Visualise this. So you see the hilarity.

Fin.

Dragostea Din Tei (Love From the Linden Trees)

Dragostea Din Tei (Romanian) Love From the Linden Trees(English)

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha (no translation)


Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha (no translation)

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha (no translation)

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo

Ma-ia-haha (no translation)

Alo, Salut, sunt eu, un haiduc, (Hello, greetings, it's me, an outlaw,)
Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea. (I ask you, my love, to accept happiness.)
Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic, (I sent you a beep, and I'm strong,)
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic. (But you should know that I'm not asking for anything from you.)

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei, (You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me,)
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei (don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.)
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei, ( Your face and the love from the linden trees,)
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai. ( And I remember your eyes.)

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei, (You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me,)
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei (don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.)
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei, ( Your face and the love from the linden trees,)
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai. ( And I remember your eyes.)

Te sun, sa-ti spun, ce simt acum, (I call you, to tell you what I feel right now,)
Alo, iubirea mea, sunt eu, fericirea. (Hello, my love, it's me, your happiness.)
Alo, alo, sunt iarasi eu, Picasso, (Hello, hello, it's me again, Picasso,)
Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic, (I sent you a beep, and I'm strong,)
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic. (But you should know that I'm not asking for anything from you.)

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei, (You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me,)
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei (don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.)
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei, ( Your face and the love from the linden trees,)
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai. ( And I remember your eyes.)

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei, (You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me,)
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei (don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.)
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei, ( Your face and the love from the linden trees,)
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai. ( And I remember your eyes.)

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha (no translation)


Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha (no translation)

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha (no translation)

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo

Ma-ia-haha (no translation)

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei, (You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me,)
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei (don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.)
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei, ( Your face and the love from the linden trees,)
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai. ( And I remember your eyes.)

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei, (You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me,)
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei (don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.)
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei, ( Your face and the love from the linden trees,)
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai. ( And I remember your eyes.)

Eye of the Tiger

Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds 'til we take to the street
For we kill with the skill to survive

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Risin' up, straight to the top
Have the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

UHM...

PDBACENOZGBOXESNOOHBORINGEDITINGBORED??SILLYNOKNOWNOGRR
SNAGGLEPUSSPOSTONEHAVEDIDYESITDOESPOSITIVEFAILH=GOODTALLNESSRIGHTS
ABORIGINALSHITFASTHEADSCHARLEMAGNEFALLINGFOREVERYOUNGBLAHDUHUBP
SILENTBCOLDINGSWEDENTITANICEVEN
END

God Gave Rock and Roll to You II

God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to everyone.

Bill and Ted are most excellent.

The waterslide is FUN!

They put rubber in the jelly.

Apparently I have come out of my shell. I wasn't aware I was a crustacean.

I can apparently also dance well. I don't see it myself.

Re-read the Harry Potter series, replacing all the occurrences of "wand" with "wang."
An example of the humour this causes is as follows:

"Harry raised his wang and thought of his mother. To his surprise a white, silvery substance shot out the end of his wang."

"Ron borrowed Harry's wang, as he broke his own in half."

*Random air guitar solo*

Han Solo

Chewbacca

Chewbacca defence

South Park

Family Guy

Evil Monkey

Monkey

Me.

Now we have seen how Chris=Air Guitar.
Since Air Guitar is the single most awesome thing in existence, Chris willed himself back to life in Nazza's Epic, 7 Act play in 3 Acts, and made friends with Christopher reeves, who does totally own, and together they used the pwer of fuzz to rule the universe and all other known areas.

TADA!